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| When do I actually seek for God? hmm. I think majority of the time, I search for God when I need him. I don't think I have actually prayed to him to thank him for anything. In a way, that's using someone for your own needs. I promise myself to talk to him AT LEAST once a day. But most of the time, my prayer is like this... "Dear god, I thank you for this day. But lord I am going to take a test soon. So let me do well. In Jesus name I pray. Amen." And now that I look back at it...wow what a dipsht I am. I mean yeah we may not be able to see God or hear him, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we have to talk to him like that. wow. WOW. That is exactly like using someone.. And to top it off, I don't even know if God is real..
I have been struggling with my faith. There are just so many doubts about him. So many people find religion stupid. And I am surrounded by those people..
I feel like a leaf on a tree in Fall. As the wind blows, a leaf from a tree falls on the ground and is no longer part of that tree.. The wind is satan..constantly bashing me and telling me 'God is not real.' The tree is God and the leaves are us. We all start out with God but little by little everyone falls and leaves God. But there are those who fall but grows back on the tree.
Basically, I guess everyone falls down one or twice or many times but they eventually grow again...however there are those who don't grow back...
Hopefully I can be one of those leaves that grows back.
Help me, God..please?
Jyoo
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| So I want to share this song with you guys...
Who says I cant get stoned?
Turn off the lights and the telephone
Me and my house alone
Who says I cant get stoned?
Who says I cant be free?
From all of the things that I used to be
Re-write my history
Who says I cant be free?
Its been a long night in New York City
Its been a long night in Baton Rouge
I dont remember you looking any better
But then again I dont remember you
Who says I cant get stoned?
Call up a girl that I used to know
Fake love for an hour or so
Who says I cant get stoned?
Who says I cant take time?
Meet all the girls on the county line
Then wait on fate to send a sign
Who says I cant take time?
Its been a long night in New York City
Its been a long night in Austin too
I dont remember you looking any better
But then again I dont remember you
Who says I cant get stoned?
Plan a trip to Japan alone
Doesnt matter if I even go
Who says I cant get stoned?
Its been a long night in New York City
Its been a long time since 20 too
I dont remember you looking any better
But then again I dont remember you
hmm.... what do you guys think of this song??
I want to hear your thoughts...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzChv1ZRtpU&feature=related
 « John Mayer
JYoo
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| So today I stayed home from school. I had a looonnnnggg weekend but it was great! On Friday, I had school then a football game at Hasbrouck Heights... They have an amazing football team. I think we lost 7-35? yeah somewhere around there. BUT! that didn't ruin my weekend. I don't really mind going to football games anymore. It's actually somewhat fun for me. (except the halftime show.) haha our theme this year is Michael Jackson and we have to dance to thriller during the middle of the drill. we learned the famous "zombie dance" (;
Anywhoo, the next day (saturday), I had band practice early in the morning.....after 2-3hours...it starts pouring and the only thing I wore that day was a v-neck t-shirt and rolled up sweats... boy! was I soaked! But the starfield concert made me forget about it.
My church sponsored a Starfield concert! and sooo many people came. (about 1200 people? yeah :] )
and on sundayyy........band festival!
hmm weirdly it wasnt tat cold o___e hahaha
yeah but fuddruckers was the BEST (:
ahh....overall...it was a great weekend.
but now...I am sick. -_-
Jyoo
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| So today in the morning, my dad rushed the hospital with my grandma. My mom and I took my grandpa to church.
After dropping him off at church, my mom and I went to the hospital. When we went there, I saw my grandma in the emergency room. One thing I realized today when I was at the hospital was how sad the atmosphere was. For some people, this place is the last place to stay before they leave earth. Then I started to ask myself all these "what if 's" What if my grandma has a tumor? What if my grandma died, how will my grandpa be? and more...
One other thing I came upon was animal abuse. So while I was waiting for my parents to come. I was watching tv in my grandma's room. This korean tv show preview came out and it was called animal farm (the title is self explanatory) And there was this puppy was getting hit, thrown against the wall, and more. I was aware of this but by actually seeing it happen is so sad. I mean why the fuck do people do that to animals? I have no idea what is going around in those people's mind.
 idk if you can see this but this is a picture of a dog tied up
WTF this is really... sigh :'[
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| As we reach the season FALL (yes, this is quite obnoxious.) the weather gets chilly, the leaves turn from green to yellow, orange, and red. currently I am listening to Demi Lovato's Catch me. My tiny secret is I have a major crush on Demi Lovato... yes I know I'm weird. Anywhoo, today I didn't go to school. I think I caught something. I hate being sick, worst feeling ever. BY THE WAY, STARFIELD IS COMING! COME TO CHECK OUT THEIR CONCERT! honestly I am having a trouble with my faith of God, hopefully this concert/worship will help me be touched by God.
Talking about God, for the past year or two, I've been struggling for hints of the existance of God. I guess since I went to church ever since I was young, I don't really know the true reason why I go. It's like a daily routine that I must follow for no apparent reason. People tell me just believe in him...but honestly that doesn't help at all. I guess I just want proof that he exists. But my mom told me, "true faith is when you don't see it". Now I can see why we have so many cults in our world. Being a christian and living a christian life is the hardest. (People may disagree with what I just said, but honestly, following the bible is difficult.) There are cults because they give easy answers to problems we have. Whereas in christianity, you have to seek for God for the answer..
JYoo ♥
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